Shaun and I have teamed up to write this post, first explaining how much Alton Towers has changed over the years and then giving you some tips on how to make the most of your day there.
Alton Towers' slogan used to be "Where the Magic Never Ends", but if this year is anything to go by, the magic has almost completely died.
There was a time when upon entering Alton Towers you just knew you were going to have a good day. You were welcomed with open arms. There was free parking, free entertainment and shows, high street fast food brands with high street pricing, happy staff and of course the UK’s best rollercoasters and innovative selection of rides and experiences.
My how times change. They don’t care anymore. They’ve just given up. Please don’t be fooled, they want your money and nothing more. If you have a good day here it’s by luck not design. Welcome to the car park. £6 please. Or £16 if you’d like to park closer. SIXTEEN POUNDS! Queues everywhere. Now, let’s clarify. You expect to queue at theme parks, but soul destroying, inaccurate and class separation queuing takes it beyond anything we’ve experienced anywhere else. It begins at the Monorail then onto ticket collection then park entrance. Finally in, you heed their advice and head to the furthest area of the park first to avoid the crowds. Don’t think for a second about getting the cable car there though. That opens at 12 noon, 2 hours after the rest of the park. Why? Just because!
As the below picture demonstrates the queuing throughout the day just got ridiculous. Even Disney and Universal know when to cap visitor numbers. Here? They don’t care! Want to avoid all that? Sure. Your options are to choose from £20, £40, £60 or £100 PER PERSON add-ons that will allow you to jump the queue. Then, and only then, might you make the most of your day. If you decide to come here on good faith and join the advertised 90 minute queue that in reality is 180 minutes then you won’t see the whole park in a single day. It’s impossible.
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| The crazy queue times for Scarefest - they were double this the day after we were there! |
Perhaps you’ll forget the “big” rides though and instead ride some filler attractions to be found at all parks worldwide. Your choices here? A decrepit pirate ship (Blade) and an Enterprise. Two adult flat rides. Yes yes there is a multitude of pre-school flat rides available to give them credit. Don’t forget the “found in every seaside town” SeaLife Centre though soon to be joined by the generic Dungeon experience. Unique and innovative indeed.
In all fairness, the day that we're basing this post on was an event day. Scarefest. It was bound to be busier that day. They put on lots of extra stuff BECAUSE it’s an event day! Want to experience it though? That’ll be an extra £5, £8 or £20 PER PERSON depending on what you want to do. Again, in fairness, if you are pre 8 years old there is free stage entertainment to be found (dancing, magic, karaoke etc) plus once a day pre-school stuff in CBeebies land. Anyone of an adult age expecting any included Scarefest extras though can forget it. Remember those free scare mazes and scare zones from years gone by? Forget it. If you want Scarefest you’ll pay for it! Again, to give credit there IS Halloween decor and ghostly dancers as you enter the park! Elsewhere in the park though? Nope.
Food? Bring your own! The high street brands are long gone to be replaced with park owned generic rubbish. Quarter pounder meal at the golden arches, roughly a fiver? Here try closer to a tenner! Want a coffee or hot chocolate with that instead of fizzy juice? Can’t be done! That’ll be an extra £2.90 please! Why? Just because!
And so it goes on and on. That’s a good photo of you on that ride! Want it? £10 please. But wait, 2 copies of the SAME photo can be had for the bargain price of £15. Generic pick and mix at the end of your day? £6 please. Don’t forget that £6 car park ticket before you leave either!
As mentioned, at least they continue to innovate. Next year they will add a Dungeon attraction. Want to experience it though? That’ll be extra please cos it’s not included in your park admission. No seriously.
The rides are still awesome though so if you haven't been put off, here are a few tips to help you make the most of your day.
1. Don't pay at the gate
Tickets are much cheaper if bought online 5+ days in advance (£33 as opposed to £55!), and keep a look out for promotional packs of cereal, sweets and snacks for 2-for-1 deals.
2. Don't head straight to the nearest ride
As soon you get in, head to the Forbidden Valley area of the park to get Galactica and Nemesis first - everyone else will likely be heading to The Smiler, Oblivion or Wickerman first.
3. Try to go during term-time
I know it's not really feasible if you have kids but if you go during the week when the kids are in school, you'll have a much better day and you won't experience massive queues.
4. Try to avoid "events"
If you're not going specifically for an event (like Scarefest or Fireworks Night) then steer clear - these days get extremely busy as we mentioned above. We went on a Friday during Scarefest and it was bad enough but we heard stories and read reviews from people who went on the Saturday and some people were queuing 3-4 hours for things and only managing to get on a couple of rides the entire day!
5. Bring your own food
Food can be pricey at Alton Towers (like all theme parks) depending on where you go so we recommend bringing lunch with you. There are a few picnic tables around the park where you can sit and eat, although it's not much fun in the cold!
6. Wear comfy shoes!
Alton Towers is quite a big park so you will be doing a lot of walking, and if it's busy, a lot of standing around in queues so make sure you have some nice comfy shoes on!
7. If it's busy and you can afford it, buy a Fastrack Pass
Sometimes it's just so worth the money. You can buy a single shot Fastrack for £5 in the park which gets you on one ride, or these are the packages that are currently available:
Bronze - £20pp
One Fastrack for Oblivion, Nemesis, Rita and Th13teen
Silver - £40pp
One Fastrack for the "Big 6" coasters: Oblivion, Nemesis, Rita, Th13teen, Galactica and The Smiler
Gold - £60pp
One Fastrack for Wicker Man, Galactica, Oblivion, Nemesis, Rita, Th13teen, The Smiler, Duel, Runaway Mine Train, Congo River Rapids, Marauders Mayhem, Battle Galleons, Enterprise, Hex and Spinball Whizzer.
8. If you get the chance - ride Wickerman in the dark
Wickerman is a really fun ride but during the day it's nothing special. At night however, it totally transforms! All the fire and smoke effects come to life and it is just absolutely spectacular!
9. Download the app
The app is very useful if you want to keep an eye on those pesky queue times (if they keep it updated!!!!) You can download it from the Play Store or the App Store
10. Remember - the closing time stated is the time the QUEUE LINES close, not the park
If you're in a queue before the stated closing time, you will still be able to go on the ride so don't feel that you have to be on your way out by closing time!
Did anyone else experience the mad queues at Scarefest this year? Let us know below in the comments!
